Finding My Way Back to Me, Via Him

I finally made it to church this week - my first visit in way too long! Jack and I went on the spur of the moment, and wouldn't you know it... I found myself sitting with my 4 year old, cradling my 9 month pregnant belly with one hand, and sitting between two dear friends at the front of the sanctuary. It's always as if I've never been gone.

This week's sermon was about the devastation in the Gulf due to the oil spill. It's certainly a topic that's been on my mind - I've found it quite difficult to articulate to Jack what's happening - how it started, what it's doing now, why people can't stop it, and what's happening to all the wildlife in the oceans. And I certainly didn't expect to be filled with hope and a renewed faith in humanity. And yet, that's what happened.

Not that I believe that man can take back what we've done, to reverse the devastation we've caused in the Gulf. Not that I believe that "God has a plan" and this is part of it. Not that I believe that something like this will never happen again.

But I do believe in the earnest grief of my community. In the hope that we can all learn valuable lessons from our mistakes with what we deem "our" natural resources. And in the faith that not all of humanity, as I'm sometimes prone to believe by my own pessimism and weariness, is selfish in nature.

As Simon's due date approaches (2 weeks from today), I know that my opportunities to attend church become less and less likely. Luckily for me, FCC has its sermons archived in podcast form. I'm hoping to catch up on a bunch of them in the next few days, and engage with them meaningfully so that I can fuel the  hope and renewed faith in humanity that I felt a trace of on Sunday.

God knows I could use it.

Sunday Morning

The house is quiet right now... as it should be at 6:30 am on a Sunday. Though I imagine that the quiet won't last for long - neither today, nor for Sunday mornings in the near future.

4 weeks to go...

The sun is shining, the sky is blue, Pikes Peak's snow is glowing in the morning light... I love living in Colorado. Now if I only had the energy to get out and enjoy it!

I know the energy will come back, but for these last few weeks before Simon is bored, I know it's going to be a constant struggle within myself to "take it easy" while at the same time not turning into a big, huge lump of baby making lumpiness! I can feel the fatigue settling in (is this because I only managed to sleep for 5 hours last night, and not all in a row?), and I don't want to succumb to it.

4 weeks to go...